I don't talk about my mom much in effort to avoid the pain. Distraction has been the best way for me to work around my feelings. 

I allow myself two days per year to feel the pain, the anniversary of her death and Mother's Day,  and have taken those days off when necessary for the last few years. When I heard United Way would be hosting a School Makeover Project to transform the elementary school in a low income neighborhood, I debated on whether or not I should move forward with my plans to take the day off. I decided to work and help hundreds of other volunteers make an impact. Today marked the first time in my life I've lived longer without her than I knew her on earth. Because I was distracted by work, I didn't have much time to think or feel. 

"Leave your feelings at the door," is a statement that's been heard and repeated by many over the several decades. Although sometimes necessary it's often hard to do. As I silently mourned my mother's death, I felt gratitude for the people, tools and practices that help me push through emotions, good or bad.